Living life through headlights

"E.L. Doctorow said once said that 'Writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can see only as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.' You don't have to see where you're going, you don't have to see your destination or everything you will pass along the way. You just have to see two or three feet ahead of you. This is right up there with the best advice on writing, or life, I have ever heard."
— Anne Lamott (Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life)

I was asked the other day by a college student "so what do you want to do with your life?" For a college student I can see how that would be a common question. However, seeing as I have graduated from college, graduated from graduate school, and held a number of professional positions I find it odd that I should still be asked such a question.

In every single season of life I have felt pressure from friends, family, society, "clocks ticking", etc edging me forward in life. To begin life. Numerous times people have uttered the words "I really think (hope) something special will come of this next season/chapter/position for you". Truth be told the "something" often literally means "someone"...though lately less people have offered false hope of meeting my husband "just around the corner"…perhaps they’ve given up hope? Nevertheless, I finally had the sense to start telling people that I have been living my life to the absolute fullest and not waiting for a certain life to begin, waiting for a 30 year career to suck away my life, pining away in my bedroom waiting for a prince to rescue me from an affair with Ben&Jerry! Hell, I've traveled and lived around the world. Met the most incredible people. And I'm supposed to feel like life hasn't begun for me? That's just total bullshit. I've succumbed to feeling like I have sacrificed a lot in order to travel and floundered in my career path by taking the most amazing job opportunities. In interviewing for jobs I constantly have been put on trial to testify and justify my eclectic resume. And guess what? I’m over it. I’m over trying to justify my life…why I’m single and in my 30s, why I’ve moved around the globe, why I haven’t followed a particular career path. The above quote by Doctorow depicts my life so well – I’m moving forward and following the path that has been lit before me. Granted sometimes God has dimmed those lights and asked me to steer by faith, conviction, and heart. Even the most difficult and challenging paths have led me forward in my journey. In fact, it has been the rough roads that have broken me in, prepared me greater for the plethora of obstacles that continue to arise. I handle and maneuver rough terrain with a different ease than I once did. That’s growth I suppose and I’m thankful for it.

My heart goes out to the millions of college students, recent graduates, and those “flounderers” around the world who are constantly grilled about where their life is heading. My suggestion…before asking your dumb questions, ask yourself first “what have I done and what am I doing with my own life?” Once you are satisfied completely with that answer…not by the standards of the world, your parents, your boss, your professors, your spouse…but truly by your own standards…once you’ve completely impressed yourself with your awesome adventurous, life-giving, life-enriched, selfless life…then and only then can you ask someone else what they are doing with theirs. And guess what? Once you’ve reached that awe-inspiring life that you love I guarantee that your question (or at least the tone of your question) will inspire instead of deflate the human being you are inquiring of.